I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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