PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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