I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My pussy is not your playground.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
