the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
