Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
