she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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