Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
