Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
