he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize