Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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