Whod you bang
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
