Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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