I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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