i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
