this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
