Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
