This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
