I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
