why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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