I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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