I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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