Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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