I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize