Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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