KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I fill condoms, not promises.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
