i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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