Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
