I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
