Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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