My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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