Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
