Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So many bounce houses so little time
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
