No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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