my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
