I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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