I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
