I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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