He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
