at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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