I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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