so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
