I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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