I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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