i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
