we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize