On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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