I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
