Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
