I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
two words...techno handjob
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
