she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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