We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
