I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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