Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
