I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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