I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
