THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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