He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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