i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
