think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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