One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
