no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
