have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
